I know I said I would write sooner, but the trip took longer than I expected and my headspace has been real small and so cramped lately. It's like I am living in a furniture showroom.

I'm finally pretty much settled in up here, although most of the machinery is out of adjustment and I broke my favorite sledgehammer last night trying to fix Sparky's horoscopulator... when NASA blew up that comet it put him behind schedule by at least nine months, although we won't know for sure until we get the belts resurfaced.

When he first told me about the horoscopulator, I was dubious and I ran some calculations -- you know how it comforts me to see the numbers. I figured if your character and destiny are influenced by the position of the stars and planets when you are born, it must be the gravitational effect, that must be what does it; the gravity just imprints you when you're fresh, like handprints in wet cement.

Sparky says that the reason things have been going to hell in a handbasket is all the satellites in earth orbit these days -- they're completely screwing up our horoscopes -- while everyone is worried about a little hole in the ozone layer, our planetary karma has been degrading at the rate of, like 5% a day. You know that's a very serious number, you listen to NPR.

Anyway, before the regulators get their teeth into it, he's planning on launching a series of satellites that will exactly counteract the effect of the bad ones, and put some balance in the equilibrium. Sparky says it's gonna be tricky, and the calculations are pretty complicated, but it's something that has to be done. Like I said, I'm dubious, but I've been wrong before ...and Sparky says we'll make a killing in the stock market when we get it right. Because if we get it right, we'll be able to offer horoscope upgrades. It's pure science, horoscope deformation, you know? I'm definitely looking forward to making the calls, I mean, who could say no? especially when you get an appreciation for the alternative, you know what I'm saying here?

Sparky says you can always make more ozone, you know, but when you're out of karma, you're out of -- well, you're just fucked.