October 30, 2005
saving private moonshine
there was a notice posted on the main gate of the colony this morning, kinda rattled my cage a little bit. it said:
OFFICIAL NOTICE:
Early this morning, Moonshine Savings Time (MST) will commence at 02:00 and all residents are ordered to displace their fine chronometers back by one hour. All moonshine collected during this hour will be placed in escrow until the conclusion of MST. No further information is available at this time. or an hour ago.
FAQ
Q: does this mean that the government can control time or does it mean that time really *is* an illusion?
A: The existence of MST shall not be construed to support or oppose any argument regarding the existance of time; nor it's inexorable grip on us; nor it's transience or permanence; or of our inability to regulate time. Don't try to drag us into that one.
Q: isn't this kind of like folding time?A: um.
Q: isn't MST a waste of time?A: Time wasting by non-government-approved personnel is forbidden. Also, since time extends infinitely into the past and the future, we believe that you are referring, not to a waste of time but of life, which, unfortunately, is not under the purview of our overt regulation as yet.
Q: can i put the moonshine in an interest-bearing account?A: No.The moonshine saved by this action shall be deposited in trust of the Lunar Commonwealth, in order that it may be restored when the season changes next. Hoarding of moonshine is expressly prohibited.
Q: my family has religious objections to MST, is there a religious exemption?A: No exemptions to this policy are permitted. We would encourage you to move west for the duration of MST.
Q: you said there was no further information, then you post a FAQ?A: We're out of time here, we must adjourn to tend to our chronometers.
posted by matthew at 01:19 AM
This serves as notice that we are filing suit against you for using our time zone. You can run, but you can't hide.
posted by: Denver Airport Authority on October 30, 2005 11:57 AM