Letters from the Moon: eGuru

January 19, 2006

eGuru

we took a short flight last night, the flight was brief but we gained a lot of altitude then descended again, tracing the path of a parabola. i was sitting across the aisle from a guy wearing an orange saffron suit, he had black wavy hair shot with gray and he had a laptop and a cell phone. he must've had special permission on the plane because his phone rang and he answered it, 'hey Goo." he said. he knew who was on the other end of the line without looking at the display on his phone.

there was a pause and then he said, "Zen; baby. let it go. just be, baby." then he listened for a while, and said, "yeah" a few times. then he said, "emptiness. be filled with emptiness"

it was apparent to me that he was a guru of gurus, a guru to whom other gurus turned in times of need or forgetfullness for a consultation.

before he clicked his phone closed he goes, "yeah, the usual charge. you don't think nirvannah is free, do you?"

posted by matthew at 07:06 AM

I think the payment for nirvannah is the value that we ourselves put on it. If we feel it is a heavy burden and we must struggle, then we struggle, and we pay through the nose.

posted by: Kurt on January 19, 2006 09:32 AM

Glad you're posting again, by the way. I missed you!

posted by: Kurt on January 19, 2006 09:32 AM

"Dial-a-Guru"

Darn good idea, if you ask me!

posted by: Carroll on January 19, 2006 02:28 PM

Dear e-Guru,

I can't decide whether to invest my millions in more LaJolla beachside property, or whether I should donate to the poor. What do you think?

posted by: Deepak Chopra on January 19, 2006 08:52 PM

Dear e-Guru,

What the hell IS the sound of one hand clapping, anyway?

posted by: Dalai Lama on January 19, 2006 08:54 PM

I predict he can't answer those questions.

posted by: Sylvia Brown on January 19, 2006 08:55 PM

I don't care whether he can answer those questions. I've got my people getting ready to take down Beauty Dish.

posted by: L. Ron Hubbub on January 19, 2006 08:58 PM

The Guru, "hoisted on his own pitard"
...money

posted by: Jim on January 20, 2006 08:52 AM

Deepak - definitely the beachfront. you'll be able to provide more jobs for the poor that way, then by giving it away to the poor, who will just fritter it away on inconsequentialities.

Mr. Lama - one hand clapping is the sound that the cloud makes when it scrapes across the sky.

Ms Brown - you are absolutely correct, of course.

L. Ron - the prudent man doesn't misunderestimate the forces that align behind Beauty Dish.

Letters from the Moon that will be $800 please. direct deposit is, of course, preferred.

posted by: e-goo-roo on January 23, 2006 11:00 PM

dear mathhew, i always knew you were a genius, yes, i always knew it, and all here on your blog proves it. you thought i was the genius, but im just a washed out middleaged man with a cat, and secret papers, with my door closed, and im tired, but less tired after reading all these brilliant things of yours.

my the flame angels braise your turnips, and singe the wings of your hair, and may the halloed angels remember halisey and josh meyer in the revenge upon all things too painfully normal, but better recovered in your particularly. love dk

posted by: david korn on January 27, 2006 10:02 PM